I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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