I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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