after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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