sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
