my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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