please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
