And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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