First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
3pm strippers are depressing
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
