Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Green mimosas i think yes
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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