I'm eating all of the evidence.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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