bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
