she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
