I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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