there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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