I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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