Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
