dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
