Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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