you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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