My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize