You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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