Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i came on her dog
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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