I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize