Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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