I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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