Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
