p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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