Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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