yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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