This is not my ceiling
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
