i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
