Can Purell be used as lube?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
