apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
