I want you more than these girls want KFC
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
