you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
