Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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