He asked me if I "almost moaned"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
