Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
