He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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