Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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