atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
