I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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