so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
