There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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