for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize