Kareoke will never be a sober sport
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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