I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize