he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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