you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Randomize
