Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
