Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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