Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
