Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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