Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
