i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
