I CAN MOONWALK!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
