Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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