well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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