He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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