he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
