UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
