I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
