And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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