I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
