I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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