It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
