Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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