Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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