I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You did what with his pubic hair?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize