ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
