Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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