thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
