She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she smelled like a LAN party
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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