i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
