I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
