Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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