I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
