Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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