i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
