Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
