i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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